Students are not exempt from this annual tradition of promising to be better versions of ourselves every time a new January comes around. On Twitter, there is a whole spectrum of goals students are setting for 2018.
But how do their resolutions measure up against the experts’ tips? Will they achieve glory or are they doomed to fail? You be the judge:
1. The perennial dream of productivity: Slaying procrastination.
My New Years resolution is to NOT leave college work as a last minute job🙃
— Caitlin White🌻 (@Caitlinxwhite) December 31, 2017
2. The ‘Go Big, or Go Home’ long list of lofty aims.
New Years Resolutions:
-USE my gym membership
-no more soda
-no excessive shopping
-minimize dairy in my diet
-continue to kill it in college
-get more drunk than I’ve ever been on my 21st (not sure if that’s a resolution but whatever) lol https://t.co/qbycWsXKny
— Penelope (@penelopexrosee) December 10, 2017
Hence, my 2018 resolution is to get a stable job to pay my house rent, car loan and student loan. God bless me pic.twitter.com/9FzycSkPB7
— x___x (@idhmsays) January 1, 2018
3. The one planning to change the world.
My New Year’s resolution is to educate moms around the world that “K.” is not an acceptable response to their children’s messages
“Made my flight!”
“Just got accepted to my dream college!”
“I preheated the oven”
— Josh Newman (@joshnewmantweet) December 31, 2017
4. The one that dares to see the great beyond of post-college life.
My New Year’s Resolution is to learn how to adapt to the major changes in my life. Especially while adjusting from college life to the working world. https://t.co/T8zRpSg48c
— christina (@chrissyteenaa) December 20, 2017
5. The one that’s already given up before anything’s started.
Things I’ve lost in 2017:
2. Two student IDs
3. $20 water bottle from lhu bookstore
4. 25 cent bouncy ball from Walmart
New Year’s Resolution: not to lose anything… even tho that’s not going to happen lol
— mArK mAtThEwS (@markmXC) January 1, 2018
6. Another one that’s already given up before anything’s started. (Extra marks for valiant effort).
ASU student New Years Resolution: no more binge drinking and late night Taco Bell
12:01 blacked in the Taco Bell line
— whoopityscoop (@stales97) January 1, 2018
7. The realistic one that understands market forces.
my new years resolution is to default on my student loans
— adam (@hottestriffs) December 31, 2017
8. The one dealing with other types of physical “forces” after a night of debauchery
My New Years Resolution:
get rid of this hangover.
— Average Pitt Student (@AvgPittStudent) January 1, 2018
9. The Mission(s) Impossible
My resolution could be "Eat Healthier" and this could be my last pizza, but I'm a college student so that's impossible.
— 👻 Ember ❄ (@ExaltedEmm) December 31, 2017