The funniest complaints students made about US colleges online

24 May 2018

campus funniest — Here's what really matters to students on Niche... Spoiler: *they hate snow* Source: EQRoy/Shutterstock.

Since discovering Niche.com, we’ve been having a giggle.

Called ‘the Yelp of researching universities’, the site allows students to post honest reviews of their US college – and some of the responses are hilarious.

Here are eight things which caused students to rate their college just one or two stars…

Parking

A good 80 percent (definitely not a real figure) of one-star reviews across almost all universities on Niche are because of a lack of parking.

It’s pretty clear: students hate not having a parking space. Sure, the university might have inspiring professors, a flawless curriculum and a high rate of graduate employment but if you can’t get a parking space, what’s the point?!

‘Yeah, I reckon I can fit the car in there!” Source: GIPHY.

As one student put it: “I am very unmotivated to walk 20 minutes to class when the weather is terrible. So, I basically do not leave my room when the weather is terrible.”

Sounds like a hoot!

‘No one knows how to drink’

Well, according to one student, you wouldn’t want to study at their uni because apparently, “no one knows how to drink.”

That is not the correct way to drink… Or is it? Source: GIPHY.

The student clarified: “People think dorm parties are fun when they’re actually just sweaty and awkward.”

Suit yourself!

No nice guys

What’s the point of becoming college-educated if you can’t find someone cool to date? We’re not even going to try and answer that one in a couple of sentences (it’s a pretty long list).

Fair enough. Source: GIPHY.

“The dating scene is absolutely abysmal. Most guys only want to hookup,” one student wrote about their US university.

‘The sun never shines’

Yale is one of the most prestigious schools in the world with thousands of incredibly successful alumni. According to Niche, six years after graduation the average graduate earns an annual salary of US$83,200 – to put that into perspective, the national average in the US is US$33,028.

But a number of students think they know exactly why no one should ever consider the Ivy League college…

“WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE HERE, LET ALONE FOUND A SCHOOL. WHY. Winter is SO long. Fall is nice though.”

Aw, well at least fall is nice.

Another wrote: “The sun never shines in New England during the academic year and the “snow-pocalypse” that comes every winter is pretty terrible,”

Beware of the snow-pocalypse. Source: GIPHY.

Okay, we got it… If you don’t like snow then don’t consider Yale.

The sports teams are rubbish

One university received just one star from a student for the fact its sports teams seldom perform very well.

Get your head in the game, athletes of this university! Source: GIPHY.

“We don’t win very often. Still fun to go and watch,” the student wrote.

Forget the rest of the university, if the sports teams don’t succeed you can’t enjoy yourself, right?

The computers aren’t of an acceptable brand

At another university, the whole institution deserved one star because there are “lots of Dell computers”. Were they hoping for Apple products?

‘I DIDN’T WANT A DELL OR ADELLE!’ Source: GIPHY.

Apparently, they “do not work very well [and] sometimes they run out of disk space too.”

It’s ‘silly’

Apparently, this university is “barely a thing, and it’s pretty silly.”

There is no other explanation. We’re not entirely sure how a university can be “barely a thing” and still be a highly-regarded higher education institution but there you have it.

If you say so. Source: GIPHY.

Nobody dances at parties

One university received a measly one star for a *very* good reason. Bad location? Awful lecturers? Not value for money? Nope, “the parties are boring because nobody dances.”

Why don’t you throw your own dancing party? Source: GIPHY.

Bear in mind it seems literally anyone can write a review so who knows if these students really went there.

As alleged Yale scholar said: “I don’t think I’ve ever been to a worse college. Everyone there should be ashamed of themselves and how badly the system is. Highly don’t recommend. 0/10. My name is Tristan. Thank you.”

We’ll take it from you, Tristan!