48, rich, and unabashedly successful in the most competitive country in the world

How do you define success? If you grew up in an Asian family, your parents decided it for you i.e. You have to be smart, wealthy and successful.

In fact, you’re pushed to be the smartest, wealthiest, and most successful.

Only the top schools and most high-income careers will do in this race to the top. How else will you bring honour to the family?

Unlike her peers and despite it being the 1960s in Malaysia, Madeline Yap Cheng Kim wasn’t squeezed into this archaic Asian version of success.

Her parents never pushed her hard – in fact, they were intimidated by their daughter’s natural drive to do well in, well, almost everything. Perhaps it was the fact that Yap was a middle child — after all, it was natural that their attention was diverted to their eldest or youngest. But that didn’t deter her from being driven.

“To me, it’s all about being the best at what you do, and what you’re passionate about – that is success to me,” she said.

Born and raised in Selangor, Malaysia, alongside her two siblings, Yap was a former national swimmer for Malaysia, an international student in Australia, and a corporate strategist in the banking industry. After retiring in her early 40s, she is now a housewife and mother of two.

Some may scoff at her for being an overachiever too preoccupied with the island nation’s five C’s of material success: cash, condo, credit card, country club membership, and car.

But Yap was and remains unfazed by her critics. To her, all her blood, sweat, and tears were well worth the trouble to attain the most priceless C’s of all: control.

“When you are the best, you have control over your life and your future,” she says. “For me, I always wanted some form of control over myself – I wouldn’t say I’m a perfectionist, but I like to plan ahead and get to where I want to be.”

One way to define success? Making it to the local paper. Yap’s parents collected articles about their daughter whenever she was featured in the papers. Source: Madeline Yap

How does a six-year-old define success? 

Yap had her sights set high even as a six-year-old – so high, in fact, that she sacrificed her social life and hobbies to work towards her goals. 

She would begin her day at 5 a.m., where her first order of business would be to jump into the freezing cold pool for morning training. After training, she would shower, change into her school clothes, and then scarf down a quick breakfast in the car on the way to school. 

Once she was done with her classes, she would have her lunch, then go for tuition classes or other supplementary lessons. In the evening, it was back into the pool until dinner, then homework before going to bed before 11 p.m. 

“I aspire to do well in everything that I do,” she said. “It’s all about perfecting my craft, in a way. I had to be very disciplined.” 

This gruelling cycle continued into her teenage years.

But it paid off – Yap represented Malaysia in the ASEAN Age-Group championships at only nine years old. By the time she entered middle school, she had already competed in four international championships in countries like Thailand, Hong Kong, the Philippines, and more. 

Yap also won several medals locally, such as the Selangor Age-Group meets, splashing through the competition and dominating in almost every stroke. Her personal best as a 14-year-old was one minute and six seconds for the 100m freestyle. 

“I don’t watch television like most teenagers. I hardly have time to revise my lessons and do my homework,” she said in an interview with local daily The Star Malaysia.

Her parents also often admitted that Yap didn’t have many friends, as she preferred spending her time being productive or training.

But despite her incredible feats, Yap admitted she initially had no interest in swimming. She only picked it up because she was sickly as a child, and the doctor recommended swimming to her parents as a way to strengthen her lungs.

But by her third swimming lesson, what was previously a physically frail child had turned into a potential national athlete. 

“My coach told my father that one day I would be a national swimmer,” she said. “It’s true – I did about 10 years of competitive swimming after that.”

Having opportunities to compete abroad as a child made Yap realise something. A life in Malaysia wasn’t all that bad, but to truly make it big, she had to find better opportunities abroad. 

Yap enjoys travelling, and frequently visits places in the US, UK and all around Asia. Source: Madeline Yap

Success meant going to Australia

Yap attended the Methodist Girl’s School in Klang as a teenager. After completing school, she decided to go abroad to Curtin University in Perth.

While this meant she had to give up competitive swimming, her sights were set higher this time – a high-income career was at the top of her list.

“At that time – around 1990s – Malaysia didn’t have a lot of degree options I was interested in, so I went overseas,” she said. “I like to venture out.”

She pursued a Bachelor of Commerce in Management and Marketing at Curtin, but chose not to pursue a postgraduate degree because she couldn’t afford it. Regardless, she’s thankful for her time overseas.

“Going through the grind in Malaysia and overseas is different. In Malaysia, they had certain ways of approaching and marking answers,” she said. “But when you’re overseas, it’s less black and white – lecturers tell you there’s no right or wrong answer, and you were allowed to express your thoughts and get your points across. Again, this was back then; it’s different now, of course.”

After graduating, she returned to Malaysia and threw herself into the corporate world, where she worked with local and international banks for around six and a half years. Similar to her teenage years, she focused on becoming the best – now, it was all about her career, and she was determined to climb the corporate ladder as fast as she could. 

Her life took a turn when she was deployed to Singapore for a project.

Yap, who was a strategy consultant with International Business Machines Corporation (IBM) at that time, frequently worked with international clients, and was no stranger to Singapore. So when a client took an interest in her professional abilities and asked her to apply to his company, she did not hesitate.  

“It was a role for project management methodology,” she said. “They were trying to establish a project culture within the bank and set up corporate programmes. It was a good opportunity because they were growing the role back then – just look at how many companies are focused on culture now. There weren’t many similar roles in Malaysia, and being in Singapore would mean I earn three times the money.”

Yap’s husband hails from Penang, Malaysia, and their children were born in Singapore. Source: Madeline Yap

Singapore, the land of many, many opportunities 

Similar to how most foreigners start out working in Singapore, Yap rented a tiny room and lived there for the first couple of years. Work was hard and the hours were long – she sometimes got home after midnight, and constantly worked weekends.

“We worked a lot with private banks, wealth management, angel investors, and so on,” she said. “Again, it was a lot of hard work and discipline. Everyone wanted to climb the corporate ladder, and it was a race. It was important to leverage my knowledge and know my position, so that I could make as many connections as I could.”

Yap had set a routine for herself. Every three years she worked in Singapore, she would sit back and reevaluate where she was, what her goals were, and what exactly was she working towards.

“I had plenty of job opportunities in Singapore. Before I took on a new job, I would always scan through at a high level and ask myself, what does this job entail?” she explained. “Then I would study the ins and outs of the company and industry very hard, and practise repeatedly until I could fill in the gaps between A to Z. In a way, I would make myself indispensable to the company.”

For the next couple of decades, Yap built a successful life for herself in Singapore.

She earned enough money to purchase property, then settled down three years later to raise a family of her own. While doing all of that, she was able to send money back home to her parents to support them, and even frequently flew them out to visit her in Singapore. 

But for Yap, the grind didn’t stop there. It‘s just different now.

Yap hopes her children will one day have the same drive for success as her. Source: Madeline Yap

How to define success, from the POV of a comfortably retired homemaker

Satisfied with her career, Yap decided to quit working, as being a homemaker would allow her more time with her children. After all, it would be easier to supervise her sons’ academic prowess from home.

“I’m someone who wants to excel in everything I do. This time, I wanted to excel at spending time with my kids, and being a good mother,” she said. “I admire those who can do so while continuing their career, but I already decided that this was something I wanted to do with my life.”

Yap has two sons, aged 14 and nine respectively. But even though she strives to push them to the best of their capabilities, she understands that times are different, and success is different now.

“To me, every child is gifted. It’s all about how we bring out the best potential in the individual and provide them with the exposure they need,” she said. “Education is important, and they must go through the grind.”

Both her children attended a variety of classes from a young age, but not all were strictly academic.

They had language classes, swimming, badminton, taekwondo, soccer, piano, art classes, and so on – it was important that her children would interact with others regardless of whether it was a group environment.

Yap’s older son is quiet, but has a natural affinity with numbers and regularly competes in math and abacus competitions. On the contrary, her younger son loves reading and is outspoken for his age, largely preferring the arts and wanting to become an architect. 

But regardless of career choice, Yap sticks by her rule – to be successful, her children must have the drive to become the best, to have control over their own lives in the future. She looks forward to sending them abroad to study, with Scotland being her first choice for its excellence and affordability.

“Whatever my children do, they must strive to be the top,” Yap said. “Even if they want to become things like hawker stall owners, artists, and influencers, they must experience failure before getting up again. I nag at them a lot, but it will be worth it.”

For many, it seems like Yap has done it all.

Yet, her drive to be the best still burns. When her sons are at school, she spends her mornings doing yoga. Similar to swimming, she initially picked it up to help with her health – Yap suffered from a slipped disk a few years ago, and now attends yoga classes, group training, and even practices on her own at home by watching videos and reading everything about yoga. 

“Like I said, I want to be the best in everything I do. Now it’s yoga,” she said.