27 things overheard at UK universities


Some wonderful human being created a hilarious Facebook group called: “Overheard at University“, listing all the kooky, silly, dense and downright outrageous things that have been caught by the prying campus ears…So we’ve trawled through a truck load of UK ‘Overheard’ pages to bring you the best of the best!

1. Overheard at Plymouth University:

Girl 1: “Do you need any help with your Student Finance application?”

Girl 2: “Yeah, am I a UK national?”

2. Overheard at Canterbury Christ Church Univesity:

Boy 1: “The weather is awful here in Essex, what’s it been like in Canterbury?”

Girl 1: “Well it’s been really hot, obviously.”

Boy 1: “Why obviously?”

Girl 1: “Because it’s closer to Africa!”

3. Overheard at the University of Bath:

Student 1: “Have you cooked your first meal yet, as an officially poor peasant?”

Student 2: “Yeah, it was quite extravagant. I put the beans under the toast.”

4. Overheard at Collingwood College:

Girl 1: “Clueless came out in 1995.”

Girl 2: “Woah, I was dead then!”

5. Overheard at the University of Sussex:

A Tour Guide at the Library was asked: “What do you want to do when you graduate?”

Tour Guide replies: “I want to be a Barrister.”

The guy who asked the question looks confused, then asks: “Why do you study law if all you want to do is serve coffee?”

6. Overheard at the Oxford Union:

Member of the audience: “But Latin is my first language.”

7. Overheard at the University of Derby:

Second year Biology student: “Why do they add gravity to your bill?”

…He definitely meant gratuity…

8. Overheard at Bangor University:

Student: “What’s more vegetarian, ham or chicken?”

9. Overheard at the University of Worcester:

(In the middle of a lecture) Student: “I’m not really feeling learning.”

10. Overheard at Brunel University:

Student: “I’m literally turning back into a Foetus.”

11. Overheard at the University of Winchester:

Second year History student as he walks into lecture: “This room already smells like tears and despair.”

12. Overheard at University of St Andrews:

Student: “So 12 Years a Slave wasn’t about Nelson Mandela?”

13. Overheard at the University of Surrey:

Student: “Just because you have headphones on doesn’t mean we can’t hear you break wind.”

14. Overheard at the University of Buckingham:

Girl 1: “What’s feminism?”

Girl 2: Ummm…

*Thinks how to put it*

Girl 2: “It’s like patriarchy, but with tits.”

15. Overheard at Nottingham Trent University:

Student 1: “So Dragons don’t actually exist?

Student 2: “Well, Comodo Dragons do, but they aren’t the massive ones in films.”

Student 1: “Oh, but they still breathe fire, don’t they?”

16. Overheard at the University of Sheffield:

Student: “I’m not going to the 9am lecture today, it’s far too windy.”

17. Overheard at Cardiff University:

Student 1: “Yeah, we just had a Welsh door put in our house.”

Student 2: “A Welsh door?”

Student 1: “Yeah, well we couldn’t afford French doors, so we just knocked a hole in the wall.”

18. Overheard at the University of the West of England:

Student: “The use of big words is what sets us apart from typical UWE students.”

19. Overheard at Manchester Metropolitan University:

Girl 1: “What does propaganda mean?”

Girl 2: “Don’t know…I know what taking a gander means.”

20. Overheard at the University of Cambridge:

“You don’t look like you’re from Canada.”

21. Overheard at the Bournemouth University:

Student: “Do you need a passport to go to Cornwall?”

22. Overheard at the University of Exeter:

Girl: “Oh my God, last night was so bad…I threw up on a tramp!”

23.  Overheard at King’s College London:

History student, after an awesome, thought provoking lecture from Professor Richard Drayton: “I want to lick his brain.”

24. Overheard at Glyndŵr University:

Boy: “In my opinion, the Queen is fitter on £10 note than a £5.”

25. Overheard at Newcastle University:

Guy 1: “Euugh, what’s that smell…stinks of sick!”

Guy 2: “Nah mate, that’s not sick, it’s just dinner.”

26. Overheard at Southampton Solent University:

Student: “A friend of mine thought that Buzz Lightyear was Darth Vader’s son.”

27. Overheard at Aberyswyth University:

Student: “I love a good poop in Tesco.”

Students, eh? You gotta love them…

Image via Shutterstock.

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